This past Tuesday was my 21st birthday, and unlike most birthdays, this year I really felt different and excited, and not because I can now purchase alcohol, but because this coming year looks like it will be one of the greatest years of my life. In a little more than four weeks, I will be traveling to Europe for a month, and when I come back I will be interning with the Smithsonian in D.C. Next school year will also be my last as an undergrad, and as challenging and scary as that may be, I am really looking forward to it and whatever comes afterwards.
For a very long time I have known exactly who I am and been very happy and confident in myself. Although I did struggle with self-image in middle school and early high school, it's been years since I looked in the mirror and thought negatively about myself. Instead, the person I see in my reflection usually makes me smile, because I know that she is strong, independent, unique, creative, and beautiful both inside and out. Even on bad days, I have been able to separate the negative thoughts I am having from what I really think about myself.
This past year and a half, however, I have been doubting myself and whether I will be able to make it in the museum world as a curator. I also experienced a lot of loneliness and longing to belong and fit in, like I haven't felt in a long time.
This semester, however, I have been recovering from letting myself feel all that negativity and I am now starting to appreciate how much I have grown recently. I have again become completely comfortable with who I am and who I am not, what I am doing, and where I am going, even if the answer to those questions, especially the last one, may have changed a little bit. I feel less and less need for other people's validation and approval, and have rediscovered a love for having solo adventures.
Embracing and loving who you are as a person and realizing what you bring to the world is an incredible thing that everyone should try to consciously do. Be your own number one fan, and don't be ashamed of the things that make you who you are, whatever that may be. For me that means sometimes going out in a vintage 1970s peacock dress with a flower crown on fantasizing myself to be a Peacock Queen in all my colorful and purple glory. I challenge everyone to embrace their inner peacock and confidently and openly show to the world who you really are!
I would also like to give a special shout out to Elijah for being an amazing boyfriend who truly treated me like a queen on my birthday and who treats me like an equal partner every day. It is truly incredible how much of a difference the right people can have on your life, and I am forever grateful that he is such a large part of mine.
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